Desperately Seeking Size-Ten

False Start

2010-05-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, maybe I jumped the gun and got off to a false start on my last post that said I was ready to mount up and get back on the proverbial horse...

Because I exercised on Monday then got sick with a spring cold on Tuesday. Blech. So the exercise for the week went out the window and I never really got my eating back in line.

Here we are again.

The good news is I am starting again (for the 100th time) 35.6 pounds lighter than when I began. This week I am going to concentrate on my hunger and fullness and a minimum of 15 minutes of daily fitness - my goals in the beginning. It worked before and it will again.

Week 19 stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 53 minutes
Calories burned: 528 calories

Numbers to date:

Weight released: 35.6 pounds
Minutes exercising: 3674 minutes
Calories burned: 29181 calories

Thanks folks for sticking around and continuing to inspire me. I promise to return the favor and be more inspiring myself very soon...

Still Here

2010-05-10T15:12:00.000-07:00

For those of you who thought I fell off the face of the earth...

I am still here.

And I am officially finished with college - for now. My last final was Wednesday and according to my instructors I received As in both classes. Hooray! Going back to school was an eye-opening success. I learned a lot more than I expected to and actually enjoyed it. So much so that, dare I even say, I may continue and get a second degree.

The bad news however, is during these last two weeks I wasn't in my best, most diligent, health conscious, let's-be-a-good-eater-and-exerciser mode. Basically, if it wasn't nailed down I ate it and the most walking I did was to get from the computer to the fridge. Okay, it wasn't that bad but close.

I hope to quickly get back on the horse, in the saddle (pick your favorite equestrian metaphor) this week. Here are my numbers for the last two weeks:

Week 17 & 18 stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 357 minutes
Calories burned: 3087 calories

Totals to date:

Weight released: 35.6 pounds
Minutes exercising: 3,621 minutes
Calories burned: 28,653 calories

Now that the excuses are gone, please pray for me to get my conviction and groove back!

Time for a New Goal!

2010-04-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can see I have changed my weight loss ticker to my second of three goals. I reached my first goal of 35 pounds - whoo hoo! My second goal is another 40 pounds released. I figured I would set three doable amounts rather than put the whole enchilada out there at once and have it feel like I'd never get there! It's kinda nice already being almost halfway to my second goal too. Here are my stats for the week.

Week 16 Stats:

Weight released: 2.5 pounds
Minutes exercising: 277 minutes
Calories burned: 2286 calories

Numbers to Date:

Weight released: 35.6 pounds
Minutes exercising: 3,264 minutes/54.4 hours
Calories burned: 25,566 calories/7.3 pounds

Cheers to new goals!

Same Old, Same Old

2010-04-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

After a loss last week I was looking forward to continuing the momentum this week, especially since I am now taking thyroid hormones, but my body conspired against me - drat! I logged everything I ate and my exercise (as usual). I was a Rock Star in that department so I have to chalk it up to the unknown and wait to see what next week brings.

In the meantime, I tried on some old shorts that were way too tight last summer but fit great now so I'll settle for that. Here's the scoop for this week...

Week 15 stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 171 minutes
Calories burned: 2387 calories

Numbers to date:

Weight released: 33.1 pounds
Minutes exercising: 2,987 minutes
Calories burned: 23,280 calories

Next week I hope to start on my secondary-goal Weight Loss Ticker...

Can We Turn Up The Heat In Here?

2010-04-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor this week for my annual check up. I got lots of good news:

Blood pressure is down
Glucose levels are great - no diabetes fears
Cholesterol levels are good
20+ pounds lighter than last year
And - drum roll please... I lost 1.4 pounds this week - whoo hoo! I finally broke the stronghold the scale had over me the past 4 weeks!

But don't start a parade in my honor just yet... My thyroid test came back with some concerns. It seems my thyroid is failing. I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. This is sort of ironic. When I was a teenager my grandparents insisted that I get my thyroid checked because of my weight problem - I wore a size ten. Really? I was all right then but not so much now. So I will have to take hormone-replacement drugs for the rest of my life.

This means that when I insist I gain weight just smelling a donut - I was telling the truth!

Now I know, my metabolic rate has been low despite my workout habits. That will be fixed. My low energy level is due to a lack of hormones. That will be fixed. My dry skin? Fixed. Cold extremities? Fixed.

Is this going to cure everything that ails me? No. But it will darn sure help my weight loss efforts!

Week 14 Stats:

Weight released: 1.4 pounds
Minutes exercising: 221 minutes
Calories burned: 2152 calories

Total numbers to date:

Weight released: 33.1 pounds
Minutes exercising: 2,816 minutes
Calories burned: 20,893

We're back in business.

Something's Gotta Give

2010-04-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

Week 13 stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 281 minutes
Calories burned: 2416

Totals to date:

Weight released: 31.7 pounds
Minutes exercising: 2,595
Calories burned: 18,741

Okay, something's gotta give. And it's going to have to be me. I'm going to have to give up:

those few extra bites I've been squeezing in past fullness
the snacks I'm consuming after dinner
the eating according to the clock
the not waiting for hunger
the reliance on exercise instead of moderating my food intake
MY GENERAL LOVE OF FOOD!

How do I break this unholy alliance? This draw food has that makes me consumed with consuming? This greed that goads me into eating more than my fair share, more than my body needs, more than I can handle?

It's going to take me giving more effort to give up more food. This week I commit to logging all my food in my Lose It! app and reevaluating my hunger and fullness. I will slow down and be conscious every time I eat. I will recommit to the sacrifice because that is want it is going to take.

I can't have my cake and eat it too.

I'm gonna have to give up more. And I will. Because I'm worth it, darnit!

The Little Things

2010-03-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

How do I define success or failure? Is a loss on the scale a success? Mosty definitely. A looser fit in the booty and thigh-area of my pants? Heaven. A comment about losing weight from a friend? Fabulous! But what about failure? Is no loss for the third week in a row a failure? Oooh, a little harder to define. Normally, I would answer yes but this afternoon since Hubs told me "You're lookin' good" and wrapped his arms around me for a kiss, I think not.

Sometimes it's the little things that keep us going. Not everyday is going to be a loss, a new size, or a pat on the back. Maybe what keeps me going today is the fact that I can run for 5 minutes without stopping - a miracle! Maybe today my pants no longer bind my waist to the point of having to unzip them when I bend down to tie my shoe. And just maybe, today, I can demonstrate a bunny hop relay race at preschool , boobs bouncing all the way, without peeing my pants! (sorry if this is TMI)

All this to say I'm not letting the scale get to me this week. I am going to trust that my body is figuring things out, settling in at a new weight before deciding that it's okay to let fat go again. I'm going to look for the little things and be content in those things instead.

Week 12 stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 174 minutes
Calories burned: 1382 calories

Total numbers to date:

Weight released: 31.7 pounds
Minutes exercising: 2,314 minutes (this is 38 hours & 56 minutes - whoo hoo!)
Calories burned: 16,325 calories (this is 4.66 pounds burned off!)

And really, what alternative do I have? Going back to my old habits? No way.

What if I Stumble?

2010-03-19T19:36:00.000-07:00

I have been worried about falling off the treadmill - so to speak.

This week has been hard. Last week was hard. I am doing okay but not great. I am exercising but my eating is deteriorating. I am not paying attention to my hunger and fullness. I am eating when I feel like it. This is the wrong road and I know it. I am worried I will stumble and fall. I need to mentally get back to where I was before - desperation.

This is the grim reality of an unfriendly scale. You guessed it - I lost nothing again this week.

Week 11 stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 194 minutes
Calories burned: 1591 calories

Totals so far:

Weight released: 31.7 pounds
Minutes exercising: 2,140 minutes
Calories burned: 14,943 calories

Is it me? Is it my body? I think it's a little of both. The following song from DC Talk is about stumbling in your walk with God but I think it aptly describes my weightloss fears as well. Anytime we make public self-declarations the fear of failure, of suspect motivations, and of looming disappointment is right there beside us whispering "you can't REALLY do this."

But together with you and with God I can say, "Yes, I REALLY can." If I stumble I know you (and He) will be there to help me back up. Thanks for that.

Totally Truthful Tuesdays - Bald-Faced Truth

2010-03-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, so don't shoot me for making you wait a week to get to the truth of my bald-faced lies of last week's TTT post. Most of my lies are very close to the truth. Here they are:

I put my lipstick on first in my makeup routine. - Lie. Actually, it is fourth. It goes like this: foundation, concealer, blush, lipstick, eye shadow, liner, mascara, done.
I was arrested when I was 16 years old. - Truth. I was at an 18 and older dance club and my friend and I left the club to go call her mom at the Denny's down the block. As we were coming back to the front door of the club a cop (I mistakenly thought he was a rent-a-cop) asked us if we were over 18. We lied and said yes. He asked for ID. We then confessed and he arrested us for being out after the 10:00 curfew. I ended up having to do community service and write a 1,000 word essay. The cop's partner later told us he probably picked us up because he thought we were cute. Nice.
I won disco dancing contests with my brother when I was in middle school. Lie. I was in elementary school. The contests were held at the elementary school rec center. We rocked!!
I excel at skeet shooting. Just give me a shotgun and I'm good to go. Lie. I have shot once at a family reunion in Texas. I made my first shot (after I remembered to take the safety off) but missed my second one. So really I am at 50%.
I was shy when I was 5 years old. Lie. When I was 5 years old I went around to strangers and introduced myself like this: "Hi, my name is Tina and I'm shy." You can imagine this got more than a few chuckles...
It took me 6 years to get through college because of all the partying I engaged in. Lie. It took me 5 for the same reason.

So there you have it - the whole truth and nothing but the truth (as far as I remember it!)

Forget about Me?

2010-03-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

Yo, yo, Peeps!

Yeah, well, it has been crazy busy in my life this last week. Please forgive me for falling down with the blogging...

I wish I could report a good week for your inspiration and enjoyment but alas it is not meant to be * insert sad face here.* I can't really say that I did everything right, nor did I do everything wrong, it was just a blah week. I am trying to get used to this cycle of: no loss - major loss - no loss, but I have to admit, it really gets to me some days.

So here is the update on my Cute as a Bunny Weight Loss Challenge for last week. My mini goal was to cook a healthy meal 5 times last week. I cooked four - progress. I did not lose a pound but since I lost 6.8 pounds the week before for a total of 8.2 pounds since the challenge began, I have completed the goal of losing at least 7 pounds - whoo hoo! For next week my mini goal is to workout an extra 10 minutes a day for a total of at least 25 minutes a day. Time to blast past this stalemate!!

Here are my stats for week 10:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 203 minutes
Calories burned: 1300 calories

Total numbers so far:

Weight released: 31.7 pounds
Minutes exercising: 1,946 minutes
Calories burned: 13,352 calories

Here's to a better week ahead!

Totally Truthful Tuesdays - Bald-Faced Liar

2010-03-09T06:25:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my blogging friend, Lisa, over at One Mom's Eating Recovery for giving me this award for being a "creative writer":

The rules are:

1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to 6 outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.
5. Nominate 7 "creative writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

In the spirit of TTT I will now tell you 5 Totally NOT Truthful things about me and 1 Truthful Tuesday fact:

I put my lipstick on first in my makeup routine.
I was arrested when I was 16 years old.
I won disco dancing contests with my brother when I was in middle school.
I excel at skeet shooting. Just give me a shotgun and I'm good to go.
I was shy when I was 5 years old.
It took me 6 years to get through college because of all the partying I engaged in.

Now, friends, it's up to you to decide which one of these is the Totally Truthful Tuesday fact. I will illuminate you all in the next post. In the meantime, here are some friends I would like to know at least one TTT fact about:

Here Comes The Sun

2010-03-08T06:52:00.000-08:00

We have had a sunny week and weekend here in Colorado and I can't tell you what it does for my mood! When it's sunny I am anxious to get outside and move my body: walk, ride a bike, play tennis, or just sit in the warmth of the sunshine and clear my head. Ahh, it's glorious! Since I was finally feeling better after a week of strep throat I took full advantage and spent time everyday exercising in the sun. I even got a pedicure to be sandal-ready. Whoo hoo!

Too bad we are forecast for rain/snow for the next several days (uh, weather forecasters, this would be a great time to be wrong, okay?) But when the weather outside is frightful, the blogs are so delightful! I thank all of you for bringing light and health to my cloudy days! And thanks to Journey Beyond Survival for this Sunshine Award. I thrive in the sunshine!

Now for my Cute as a Bunny Easter Challenge update. My mini goal for this week was to not eat or drink anything but water after 8:00 PM and the good news is, I succeeded this week! (We have to look the other way on my beer drinking after 8 on my concert date night as previously discussed.) My second goal of losing 1-2 pounds a week was also a success with over 6 pounds lost. So, this week I earn new badges. We'll see what next week brings when my mini goal is to cook a real dinner at least 5 times this week since I am on Spring Break from my college classes. Now THIS is going to be a challenge...

Playing Dress-Up

2010-03-05T18:50:00.000-08:00

I used to love to play dress up. My mom had a huge spare closet in my room where she kept fancy outfits and off season clothes. When I was too small to try them on, I would just pull them out and look at them. Then, when I got big enough, I would dress up in my favorites - (and occasionally wear them to high school parties we threw at our house when our parents were out of town and then get caught wearing a wrinkled, teal and wine colored linen suit when our parents came home early the next morning, oops!)

I loved to dress my Barbies too. I could never get enough outfits to adorn her perfect, unrealistic figure. I remember the first thing I stole was a fancy Barbie ball gown from a friend's house. Of course I had to return it - never had a taste for stealing after that.

Alas, I no longer enjoy playing dress up. For too many years to count, getting dressed has been a frustrating trial of searching for something that fits then assessing whether or not it actually flatters - an almost impossible equation. And don't get me started on bra shopping...

Today I played dress up in my own closet. Many once-too-small items now fit reasonably and many recently-fit-right items were finally too big and went into the donation pile. It was very gratifying.

Week 9 Stats:

Weight released: 6.8 pounds
Minutes exercising: 116 minutes
Calories burned: 1,024 calories

Totals so far:

Weight released: 31.7 pounds
Minutes exercising: 1,743 minutes
Calories burned: 12,052 calories

I seem to see a pattern developing here: lose for a couple of weeks, go a week or two with little or no loss, then have a big loss the next week. Knowing my body functions like this really helps me got through those dry weeks. I think I'll chart it. I'm sure it's cyclical...

Totally Truthful Tuesdays - Counting Calories

2010-03-02T19:00:00.000-08:00

Although counting calories is not part of My Plan I must confess that I do it occasionally. Here are a few of my reasons for occasionally counting:

To understand how many calories I regularly consume so that when I am in maintainance mode I have a grasp of what 2,000 calories a day (or whatever I'm alotted) looks like. Right now I am alotted 1,639 to lose 2 pounds a week.
To get it through my thick head that a 20 minute walk does not equal a Chocolate Thunder From Down Under dessert.
To play with the awesome free app on my iTouch called Lose It! that tracks your calories for the day, how many you have left, calculates your exercise and subtracts it from your total, lists tons of restaurant and brand-name food calorie counts, and more. Love this app. If you don't have it - get it.

Here are some of my reasons why counting is not part of my regular plan:

This is a heart issue, not a numbers game. I love food. Until I can learn to love it less and love me more, it wins.
I want to truly understand and listen to my body. I believe God made it perfectly and if I am listening it will tell me when to eat and when to stop. I stopped listening long ago. Counting distracts me from hearing when I know I have 257 more calories I can eat.

This is a life change and I don't want to count for the rest of my life.

So, like I try to approach my relationship with food, everything in moderation. Even counting.

Numbers, Notches and New Kicks

2010-03-01T19:06:00.000-08:00

Champian Shoes available at Payless Shoes

I got these new shoes today for walking. I confess they are knock-offs of the expensive brand but I thought I would give them a whirl before I invest the brand-name-big-bucks. I took them out for a test walk this afternoon and I really felt a big difference. My legs fatigued much faster and I could feel my muscles working differently. I did have tender ankles and feet during the walk so I didn't push myself to go too long on the first try. We'll see what my feet and legs have to say tomorrow.

In other news, I moved a notch in the right direction on my belt and I may even get to buy the next size down in pants soon! Yes, believe it or not, after 24.9 pounds lost I still have not lost a pant-size. This is the tragedy of plus-sized stretch denim - very forgiving, not very rewarding.

Okay, so week two of Me So Hongry's Cute as a Bunny Weight Loss Challenge didn't go so well. This is the challenge where I aim to lose 1-2 pounds a week for 7 weeks and set 1 mini goal to achieve each week.

As previously confessed in What I Know, I did not lose anything this week. Grrr. To add insult to injury, this week my mini goal was not to eat or drink anything but water after 8:00pm and drumroll please... I failed on the first night! I forgot my goal on Monday night and ate after 8:00! Doh! I ate after 8:00 on Saturday night too so two out of seven nights I missed the mark. The good news is I did well on the school nights.

I really feel that I must try this one again. So this week I will strive for nothing but water after 8:00pm. A mini goal do-over. (This may be tough on Saturday night when Hubs and I have a date night and a concert to go to. There may be after-dinner drinks. For alcohol I may make an exception... Shhh - don't tell.)

What I Know

2010-02-26T18:05:00.000-08:00

The scale has not been my friend this week but I'm not freaking out about it. Here's why:

I know that it takes eating an EXTRA 3,500 calories to gain a pound of fat.

So yeah, maybe I slipped a little this week. Maybe I ate a few hundred surplus calories (I don't know because counting is not part of my plan.) Maybe I should be more mindful of when I am truly hungry and truly satisfied. Maybe I did everything right but have not yet been rewarded. I don't know. But I do know I did not, by any means, eat an EXTRA 3,500 calories and I do know I exercised everyday for at least 20 minutes.

That's what I KNOW. So I am not going to be freaked out about what I do not know. Here's what else I know:

Week 8 Stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 200 minutes
Calories burned: 1467 calories

Total numbers to date:

Weight released: 24.9 pounds
Minutes exercising: 1627 minutes
Calories burned: 11028 calories

I know this too. You all help me more than YOU know! Thanks for the support :)

Totally Truthful Tuesdays - Comfortably Fat

2010-02-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

To be Totally Truthful, sometimes I want to stay comfortably fat.

Remember that Pink Floyd song Comfortably Numb? That is sort of what comfortably fat means to me. It is the low road. The way of few expectations, many limitations, and a plethora of excuses. It is the land of blame it on my size; not on any personal shortcoming or failing. It is the lie that says I am safe here, no one else can hurt me. Where I am too busy hurting myself then self-medicating with the very medicine that is killing me. It is a lonely, self-imposed isolation, an emotional buffer zone where no one gets too close. A place where my true love doesn't love me back but I continue to chase after it day after day. It is the path of least resistance and it leads right to the pantry or refrigerator.

God help me everyday to choose uncomfortable. And to take the high road instead.

Bunny Challenge Week 1

2010-02-22T07:24:00.000-08:00

I am participating in the Cute as a Bunny Weight Loss Challenge where I aim to lose 1-2 pounds a week for 7 weeks and set 1 mini goal to achieve each week. Here is my scoop for week 1:

I knocked my first week's mini goal out of the park! My goal was to increase my exercise time by 5 minutes a day from 15 to 20 minutes. My average for the week was 29 minutes a day with a total exercise time of 213 minutes. Booyah! My total weight lost as of last Friday was 1.4 pounds.

This week's mini goal is to not eat or drink anything except water after 8:00 PM. This may be hard on the nights I have class but luckily the teachers let us eat in class if we need to. I guess I'll have to keep my late-night partying to a minimum (yeah, right.)

So here's to continued love from the Bunny!

I've Sat Down and I Can't Get Up!

2010-02-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

For Christmas I asked my Hubs for the Wii Fit Plus and as you know I have loved it. Not to be outdone, Hubs got on the internet and researched the best-rated fitness program for the Wii and asked for that for Christmas (because doing the same workout as your wife must mean you're a wimp.) That program turned out to be EA Sports Active. It comes with a leg strap to hold the Wii Nunchuk and track your leg movements and it has a resistance band for upper body toning. He loves it and has been waiting anxiously for me to try it.

So I did on it Wednesday.

Today I need a spring-loaded seat cushion to propell me out of a sitting position because I am unable to get up on my own power.
Today I really wish I was a guy so I could pee standing up.
Today I almost called the medical supply store to bring over a walker. And a raised toilet seat.

Um yeah, it kicked my butt. In a 28 minute workout it had me doing 16 squat reps 3 three times, 16 reps of 2 different lunges 3 times, and running on the "track" alternating high knees, kick backs and running. I also did 3 sets of 2 different styles of rowing, bicep curls, and boxing. I may have done some other things and blocked them out.

Week 7 Stats:

Weight released: 1.4 pounds
Minutes exercising: 213 minutes
Calories burned: 1576 calories

Totals to date:

Weight released: 24.9 pounds
Minutes exercising: 1427 minutes
Calories burned: 9561 calories

EA Sports Active bottom line: It was a great workout. I highly recommend the $60 investment if you have a Wii. I can't wait to do it again - when I regain functioning below the waist.

Totally Truthful Tuesdays - Monday was Bad!

2010-02-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

I am participating in My Lipstick Life's (my other blog's) Totally Truthful Tuesdays. Here I will bare my dieting soul to you every week. I know I do this already but on Tuesdays I will make it short, honest and probably not so sweet. So here it goes:

Yesterday was bad! I ate like there was no tomorrow. The only thing I was desperate for was food to wash away the grumpy, I-had-a-sucky-Valentine's-Day-blues. (Yeah, me? I got nothing from Hubs this year but a card. Boo.) My eating was a total car crash. The only redeeeming factor was I forced myself to do 20 minutes on the elliptical since it is one of my goals on the Me So Hongry's Cute as a Bunny Easter Challenge and I rocked it!

Still, it won't make up for the extra 1,500 chocolate-laden calories I horked down this afternoon... Thank goodness there's always tomorrow!

New Challenge

2010-02-15T14:34:00.000-08:00

I have decided to participate in a new challenge here in blogland. It's the Me So Hongry's Cute as a Bunny Easter Challenge. For the next seven weeks starting today, Feb 15th, until April 5th I will be setting one mini goal a week and aim to lose at least 7-14 pounds in seven weeks.

My mini goal for this week is to up my exercise ante to at least 20 minutes a day instead of 15 minutes.

Also, my weigh-in day is Friday and it will remain Friday during the challenge. My current weight loss as of Friday is 23.5 pounds. My goal is to get to at least 30.5 - 37.5 pounds lost during this challenge.

For now I will continue with what I have been doing and adding at least 5 additional minutes a day of exercise for this week's mini goal.

Desperation

2010-02-12T15:11:00.000-08:00

I think I have found my key to this weightloss saga - desperation. I need to want to lose weight desperately. Just like the title of my blog says (and here I thought I was just being clever, playing off of Madonna's lame 80s movie - Desperately Seeking Susan.) Dictionary.com defines it for me:

Desperate:
– adjective
1. reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency: a desperate killer.
2. having an urgent need, desire, etc.: desperate for attention.
3. leaving little or no hope; very serious or dangerous: a desperate illness.
4. extremely bad; intolerable or shocking: clothes in desperate taste.
5. extreme or excessive.
6. making a final, ultimate effort; giving all: a desperate attempt to save a life.
7. actuated by a feeling of hopelessness.
8. having no hope; giving in to despair.

Just thinking it would be nice to be thinner and more fit isn't going to cut it. I need to want it more than I want to eat - and sometimes I want to want to eat REALLY badly. I need to be reckless, excessive, shocking, having no other hope, extreme, giving all, and urgent about my focus on losing weight. Truly, what could be more important?

This week I was pretty desperate after two weeks of virtually no loss. Thankfully my desperation was rewarded and my body finally decided to cooperate and let the scale show me a little love. Well, a lot of love...

Week Six Stats:

Weight released: 6.2 pounds
Minutes exercising: 196 minutes
Calories burned: 1206 calories

Totals numbers to date:

Weight released: 23.5 pounds
Minutes exercising: 1214 minutes
Calories burned: 7985 calories

Obviously, the scale has been holding out on me. I think this is an answer to my dilemma in To Weigh or Not to Weigh and a good example of why I ultimately decided to weigh every day. If I just weighed once a week my body may decide not to cooperate that day. To get a real read on what is happening I need to step on everyday so I don't freak out everytime the scale does.

Fresh Motivation

2010-02-10T15:06:00.000-08:00

I received some fresh motivation this week in the form of an invitation.

A high school reunion perhaps? Tropical paradise bathing-suit-required getaway? Family gathering? Wedding in which I must don a bridesmaid's dress?

No.

A women's retreat. Who knew a simple black and white flier to a fall 2010 Women's Retreat could elicit such a response? Well, the thing is, I have been to this retreat before and it kicked my butt. I came home from the weekend with fierce determination I would not go back in the same shape next year. Here is the story:

Four of us from the preschool/church where I work went on a teacher retreat last fall to Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp here in the Rockies. I am not a Lutheran but the ladies forgave me for that and welcomed me with open arms. The purpose of the retreat was not only to relax and renew but also to challenge ourselves in new ways. Physical ways. Painful ways. I can't move off my bunk even if there IS a mouse in our room ways.

It wasn't pretty.

Do you know how humiliating it is so be on a hike with 30+ women, be straggling along in the rear, holding up the back-end councilor, making the whole company of hikers stop every few minutes to rest, wheezing like you're taking your dying breath, mopping rivers of sweat off your brow, and wondering frantically if they will have to air-lift you off the mountain, while 65 year old women blaze a trail in front of you not even breathing heavily?

You have no idea.

It was an I-never-want-to-repeat-this-torture moment that mere words cannot describe. Needless to say, I cried that weekend. I was so sore I didn't even attempt any of the other physical activities such as rock climbing, high ropes course, or the "challenging" hike (yes the hike we went on was labeled "easy" - pfft!) I did opt for the massage, reading in a adirondack chair on the cabin porch, and the cooking class (this is a story for another post - The Cooking Class from H-E-doublehockeysticks...)

It wasn't that I didn't want to try rock climbing or the high ropes course, I love a challenge, but I knew I was physically unable to do it because of my weight and non-existant fitness level. I don't like limitations. I especially don't like limitations that I have imposed on myself. I came home knowing something had to change before I would go back next year. Of course it took me until January 1st to be ready to start but better late than never. And I thank God that, just when I needed a reminder to not give up just yet, I get the flier in the mail for next fall...

Eye on the prize, Tina, eye on the prize.

The Bloom is Off The Rose

2010-02-05T19:17:00.000-08:00

I have several rose bushes. Honestly, they are not very attractive when not in bloom. Just thorny bushes. Ugly and painful.

This aptly describes my weight loss journey last week.

The blush of a new crush, the budding excitement of a new relationship, the thrill of success when you start a new diet - all wear off eventually. And mine has. To top it off I missed two days of working out this week, lost .6 pounds in the beginning of the week and gained it back by the end. Boo. But I refuse to waver in my resolve. I will push through this!

Now the real work begins.

Week Five Stats:

Weight released: 0 pounds
Minutes exercising: 161 minutes
Calories burned: 1108 minutes

Total numbers so far:

Weight released: 17.3 pounds
Minutes exercising: 1018 minutes
Calories burned: 6779 calories

Here's to keeping on keeping on! Eye on the prize people - eye on the prize.

I'm Late, I'm Late

2010-01-30T19:29:00.000-08:00

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date... with my blog! (No! I'm not pregnant. Don't even go there!)

Friday is my weigh in day and I didn't get a chance to blog yesterday so here goes:

Week four stats:

Weight released: 0.5 pounds
Minutes exercising: 227 minutes
Calories burned: 1461 calories

Total numbers so far:

Weight released: 17.3 pounds
Minutes exercising: 857 minutes
Calories burned: 5671 calories

I must admit this week was tough. Busyness, hormones and cravings combined to make me very crabby. The scale was not my friend but I know I did the work so it will show up later. The good news is when I got on the scale this morning I lost another half a pound but ssh, that goes on this week's recap. Check out my Ticker - I'm exactly halfway to my first goal! Hooray! Of course this is just the first of a goal trifecta but it feels good to be halfway, nonetheless. Yea me!

I will try to blog later this week - I have lots to say and very little time to do it anymore between 2 blogs, 3 teens, 2 college classes, 2 pre-k classes, 1 busy husband with 2 jobs and 3 college classes, and 1 lonely yellow lab...

Until next time - eat mind-fully!

The Wussiest Loser

2010-01-24T17:30:00.000-08:00

I confess. I'm a wimp.

My church is sponsoring a Biggest Loser contest. The weigh-ins took place this morning. The contest starts today and goes for the next 6 weeks. At the end of the contest there will be a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winner announced. I don't know any of the other details.

I received an email invitation last Thursday. I was immediately indecisive. I asked for advice from my family. My sons were so cute. They asked why if I was already on a diet would I need to go on a second diet. I explained that I would just stay on my diet and add additional accountability. I prayed about it but I never really felt a clear direction from God. My daughter asked why, if I was already having success, would I need to participate. My answer was maybe I could be instrumental in helping others in some way. Maybe God wants to use me in this. I don't know.

So today following church I stood rooted to a spot in the hallway in front of the Biggest Loser sign trying to decide. There was no clear direction on the sign where to go to weigh-in. I just stood waiting for some kind of portent. None came. I could have asked for some direction but I didn't want to commit. It felt a little like I was testing God. "God, if you want me to do this, have someone come and get me." No one came.

So I didn't sign up. I didn't weigh in.

If you are wondering why it was so hard for me to commit, here's why:

I am going along just fine with you awesome people to motivate me and keep me accountable.
I was scared to rock the boat.
I don't want to have the wrong motivations ie: praise, recognition, people pleasing, competitive spirit, etc. (These things are okay but not a healthy reason for me to do this.)
I don't want to get bogged down with too much information or be made to feel I have to do this a certain way.
I often get a rebellious spirit when I feel forced into doing something - "I'm not gonna do it and you can't make me!"
I already feel spread thin and don't want to overload myself.
I'm a wimp.

There you have it.

I would love to hear what you all think. I am sure if I wanted to I could get in at the last minute. I am still waiting to hear that still, small voice.

Maybe it's yours.

Cheater, Cheater, Over-Eater

2010-01-22T17:09:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed I didn't post for a few days. My life has gotten significantly more complicated recently. I've gone back to college on Tuesday and Wednesday nights for two classes. I have to continue my early childhood education in order to stay certified to teach preschool in CO. Needless to say it is a BIG adjustment. It has been 19 years since I set foot in a college classroom. Ouch.

The good news is most of the women are my age and there for the same reason. The bad news is one of my professors is super gung-ho, expects attendence and lively participation every week, has an essay due every week for homework in addition to text reading, and is decidedly liberal. Should be interesting...

Don't fret if I can't post as often. I'm committed to this thing with all of you and will read as often as I can :)

Week three weigh-in stats:

Weight released - 4.4 pounds
Minutes exercising - 184 minutes
Calories burned - 1513 calories

Totals to date:

Weight released - 16.9 pounds
Minutes exercising - 630 minutes
Calories burned - 4210 calories

Obviously I am thrilled with this week's release (Connie's word, thanks Connie!) I have not missed one day of exercising, at least 15 minutes everyday. I squeezed it in even on the days I had school. Hooray for me!

But I have to confess - I've been cheating. Unfortunately, I can cheat on this diet and still lose. Here's the deal:

I'm supposed to eat within the confines of hunger and fullness. The hunger is a physical feeling such as a growl (not a head hunger of desire to eat) and fullness is a politely satisfied feeling (not stuffed). Well, I have been eating lunch everyday well past the satisfied feeling and on toward the stuffed end of the spectrum. I am simply not stopping when I should. I am being greedy and really not changing my attatchment to the food. This is not a diet-breaker necessarily because as long as I wait until I am hungry again to eat I am okay. Here's the rub, I am not hungry again the rest of the day. So dinner is either non-existant or miroscopic. Not a great way to break my over-eating habit.

So this is what I need to work on next week.

I am not even close to overcoming.

I'm a Beautiful Blogger!

2010-01-16T16:26:00.000-08:00

And the award goes to...

Tina Dean! (thank you, thank you)

With Hollywood award season just around the corner it's nice to remember that no matter what we see on the red carpet, no matter what unattainable standards women are being held to as the world fawns over physical perfection, there is a community of women online who accept us unconditionally and finds beauty in us - flaws and all. Truly, I feel celebrated everyday as women (and men) read my most personal thoughts, worries, victories, and defeats and cheer me on with unaffected enthusiasm and support.

I received a Beautiful Blogger award from Dreaming of the New Me. It comes with the instructions to share 7 things about yourself that others may not know. Here are my 7:

I am usually the loudest person in the room.
I am rarely in a bad mood. It happens a couple of times a year and people usually assume it's the end of the world or something worse.
At about age five I decided I was shy. I would go around to people and say; "Hi, I'm Tina and I'm shy." Um, shy not.
I have a horrible habit of interrupting people or finishing their sentences. This really gets on my 16 year old daughter's nerves. Oh, and my husband's too. I'm working on it - EVERYDAY...
I love life and try to live everyday to the fullest. I never want to die - which is a bummer since it's inevitable.
I tend to think I am younger, prettier, fitter, and more able than I really am. Reality seems to bite me in the butt more often than most people. The flip side is I have a great self image!
God knew I'd be a good preschool teacher because I love to: be silly, loud, play, sing, dance, love, nurture, and as always, be the center of attention. (Thanks, God, for having my back!)

Now, to give the award away to another Beautiful Blogger, my BFF, someone who makes me feel beautiful everyday, and the woman who ALWAYS has my back - Meg at Forty Something in the 'Burbs!

Ounce by Ounce

2010-01-15T16:29:00.000-08:00

Working my way toward my goal ounce by ounce and pound by pound. This was a week of settling in at my new weight. A week of two pounds forward and one pound back. A frustrating week where I thought I should have seen a bigger result. Then I remembered that this is the LAST time I will be at this weight and it's okay of it takes a while to get gone - as long as it's gone for good.

Here are my week two results:

1.4 pounds lost
213 minutes of exercise
1258 calories burned

Changes to date:

12.5 pounds lost
446 minutes of exercise
2697 calories burned

Thank you, God for the strength to say 'no' to self and for the hope of bringing glory to you. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Comic Relief

2010-01-14T19:10:00.000-08:00

Here's a little something to take the edge off. Laugh - it burns calories!

Sugar Might Be The Devil

2010-01-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

Although I didn't make it a goal, I have not eaten any kind of dessert or candy (except for a tiny square of Dove Dark at work last week) since January 1st. Nor did I have any cravings for sugar beyond the occasional piece of fruit. But today I started the day with one of those yogurt-covered, 160 calorie, Special K meal bars and it tasted really sweet. Then after eating half of my lemon chicken and rice with wontons for lunch I had two of the mini (not Fun Size but smaller) Snickers. Now, tonight, I felt famished for dinner and dying for sweets.

I am convinced that eating sugar makes you crave sugar.

Nothing is off limits for me within the parameters of hunger and fullness so I am not "cheating" when I indulge in dessert but I am now sure it is not a good choice for me. I think I should stay away from the sweet stuff until I am stronger to resist.

"So, Sugar, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to break up with you. You're just not good for me. Maybe someday we can be friends but right now I won't be taking your calls. I need a break. No hard feelings, huh?"

Ups and Downs

2010-01-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

You spin me right 'round, Baby, right 'round!

I am learning all over again that weight loss, much like life, has its ups and downs.

After an initial week of mostly downs I have had a second week of mostly ups. Although I am doing everything right, as far as I can tell, the scale is yo-yoing more than the elevator in the Empire State Building.

I am trying not to let it get to me.

By controlling what I can, my food consumption and exercise completion, and letting go of what I can't, my whacky hormones and water-hoarding freakness, I am learning to go with the flow. I figure if I do my part, my body will do its part, even if it doesn't seem to want to part with its part... ugh!

And so, through the ups, I'm learning to trust myself and my body, have patience with myself and my body, and believe in myself and my body. And through it all, striving to find peace in the process so I don't give up before I can get down.

Isn't that just like life?

Healthy Weight

2010-01-10T22:07:00.000-08:00

Ahh, the 80s! Do I look overweight here? I think not.

When I step on the Wii Fit to get weighed, every once in a while it will tell me what a healthy weight for me might be. Here is the number - 135.6 pounds. Yeah, right. Do I look like I'm still in high school? Even back then I can't even remember being that weight. I honestly have no recollection of being under 145 pounds. I am just not built that way. I do remember feeling like my weight was a concern in high school but looking back I did not have a problem (except thunder thighs 'til the day I die!) No, I was comfortably a size 9 or 11 and darn it, I looked good! My daughter is a sophmore in high school and she wears a size 9. To me she is the perfect size and happily she thinks so too. She weighs in at 128 pounds. I will never - let me repeat - never, be within 7 pounds of her weight. She is built completely differently (except in the chest area!). She is long and lean, already an inch and a half taller then me. I have about as much chance of reaching her height as I do her weight.

So what then is my goal?

My husband asked me last night on our date. Do I have a goal weight? Not really. I know I need to lose in the triple digits - God help me. But I am more interested in health and fitness than a number on the scale. I do think it would be great to wear a size 10 again - thus the title of my blog. Would I settle for a 12? You betcha! 'Cuz it beats the heck out of the size I'm wearing now, thank you very much. Last time I was wearing a size 10 or 12 I had lost 60+ pounds and I weighed 161 pounds. A full 30+ pounds more than my so-called ideal weight as per Wii Fit. So maybe my Mii will always show as Overweight when I workout and I will never reach the nirvana of heathy weight when I step on for my Body Test. I guess I'll have to live with it.

It beats where I'm at now.

Small and Tasty - Part 2

2010-01-09T17:46:00.000-08:00

I covered the Tasty subject in Small and Tasty. Now for the Small part of the equation. Definition courtesy of Dictionary.com:

Main Entry: small
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: tiny in size, quantity

Synonyms: baby, bantam, bitty, cramped, diminutive, humble, immature, inadequate, inconsequential, inconsiderable, insufficient, limited, little, meager, microscopic, mini, miniature, minuscule, minute, modest, narrow, paltry, petite, petty, picayune, piddling, pint-sized, pitiful, pocket-sized, poor, puny, runty, scanty, scrubby, short, shrimp, slight, small-scale, stunted, teensy, teeny, toy, trifling, trivial, undersized, unpretentious, wee, young

Antonyms: big, enormous, generous, huge, immense, large

Certain words pop out at me from the list of synonyms when considering my current food portions: inadequate, insufficient, meager, paltry, pitiful and scanty. While every one of the antonyms accurately describes my past meals; thus incurring the current size of my hiney which could also be described using the above antonyms. Actually, there have been quite a few preschoolers over the years that have used the exact terminology...

The thing is, my body really has no need for fuel. I am carrying plenty of it around. According to the Weigh Down Diet principals, all it needs is a spark to start the engine. Sort of like topping off at the gas pump when you stop on a roadtrip. A little something revs up the metabolism. Then instead of burning off a huge meal it burns the extra meals available on my thighs, stomach, and upper arms. Burn, Baby, burn!

This then makes for some meager meals. Top it off with the food tasting fantabulous and the fact that I am hungry when I sit down to eat and you have a sheer act of will and determination to stop at paltry.

I don't always succeed. On Thursday I over-ate at lunch. I could not stop myself. I wanted to keep eating and I did. I felt terrible and bloated afterwards, a sensation I need to remember next time I feel unable to stop. Did I totally blow my diet? No. All it means when I over do it at one meal is that it will take longer for me to be hungry again for the next meal. Sometimes a lot longer! That is okay once in a while. But if I am doing this on a regular basis then it is obvious I am not learning to let go of the food. The food is still in control and I am not. Until I am in control of the food, I haven't won this battle.

So then I will soldier on, eating tasty but pitiful and scanty meals, depending on God, waiting for the day I no longer carry a restaurant of meals on my frame, and insufficient becomes sufficient.

Victory!

2010-01-08T16:39:00.000-08:00

Um, 105? No. This is not me...

I have felt pretty good this week. Although its has had tough moments (and maybe a few stray tears), overall, I count it as a victory.

One week down in a long journey to overcoming food dependence and abuse.

Week 1 stats:

Pounds lost: 11.1
Total minutes exercising: 233
Total calories burned: 1439

Don't know what I would do without the Wii! It definitely makes the exercise fun. If all I had was the elliptical it would barely be tolerable. Thanks Nintendo :)

Small and Tasty

2010-01-07T17:41:00.000-08:00

I have to say, one of the benefits of eating when you're really hungry is how the food tastes - incredible! When your stomach is truly empty it is like your taste buds come alive. I can't believe how many meals I have eaten with dull, uninspired taste buds simply because I wasn't really hungry for the food. Now even the most basic meals like poached egg on rye toast with real butter are scrumptious culinary delights for my hungry body.

Have you ever just wanted to eat, tried many foods, but nothing tasted good so you went on to the next thing and the next searching to for something to satisfy your craving? I have. Many times. I'm sure since my body did not need any fuel (my extra fuel tanks - hips, butt, thighs, are at max capacity) my sense of taste was dulled. My body was rejecting me eating more food. Did I listen? No. Because I was feeding a feeling. Maybe it was lonliness, boredom, anger, happiness... who knows? Whatever it was, it wasn't hunger. Because when you're hungry, food truly satisfies. Now when I want to feed a feeling I am going to have to rely on something else from now on.

That is what this journey is all about.

To Weigh or Not To Weigh

2010-01-06T19:54:00.000-08:00

To weigh or not to weigh? This is the question.

What do you personally practice? Weigh everyday? Once a week? Less often?

My weight definitely fluctuates on a daily basis so it can get discouraging to weigh myself everyday but I do find that I have increased focus when I know I have to step on the scale in the morning.

So, in the spirit of reliance and asking for others' wisdom...

What do you think?

Reliance

2010-01-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

Like my daughter's Field Hockey team - we can do this together!

Taking a cue from Jules at Big Girl Bombshell who suggested yesterday in her blog, Monday Morning Stretch, that we determine to challenge ourselves in a new way, I have decided that this week I will stretch myself to be more reliant.

When I looked up this word on Dictionary.com I found it had two meanings (bonus!) that I could work on:

re⋅li⋅ant /rɪˈlaɪənt/ [ri-lahy-uhnt]
–adjective
1. having or showing dependence: reliant on money from home.
2. confident; trustful.

I am an idependent person. I don't like to rely on anyone else to: a) get the job done, b) get the job done right. In my life I always opt for: c) do it myself. But in this fight for my health, I can't do it alone. I need you. I need my BFF. I need my family.

But mostly I need God.

I need to rely on Him and His strength when I don't have enough. I need His power to say 'NO' to temptation and weakness or when I'm tired and don't want to fight anymore. I know He is strong enough to save me if I call on Him. And best of all, when I do rely on Him, I can clearly see the way He answers my prayers. It is such a faith-affirming experience when I am reliant on God.

But, as they say on TV, that's not all!

I can also rely on the wonderful people He gave me in my life who love and support me. To be more reliant means I will talk to my family, write on my blog, or pick up the phone during a rough time and call. Not try to tough it out on my own. I will ask for help or advice. Not rely on my own wisdom that leads to doubts and rationalization. And then, just possibly, I will use the shoulders that are available for me to cry on - without shame.

Finally, I will practice the second definition of reliant and be confident and trustful that all together, with God's help...

I can do this!

Naughty Jack

2010-01-04T20:29:00.000-08:00

Naughty, naughty, Jack!

As you can see my dog, Jack, got into the kitchen trash when I was at work. I suppose this was his vengeance for everyone going back to work and school after two weeks at home with him. Whatever it was, I was not impressed.

It was disgusting cleaning up all the torn-up trash with bits of dried-on food and bite marks out of it - yuck. This disaster was spread throught three rooms and impossible to capture in just one photo angle but you get the picture. It should have caused a complete loss of appetite but instead the anger and frustration I was feeling just made me want to eat.

Ahh, food, when did you become the enemy?

Thankfully, I made a better choice and went to work out on the Wii Fit instead. I logged twenty minutes before my daughter came home for lunch and we had leftovers together (by that time I was sane enough not to eat everything in the pantry.) My workout felt good and could have gone longer but I am trying for moderation so I don't burn out. Rome wasn't built in a day and all.

It helps that my family is supporting me and praying for me. I try to remember that I have nothing to hide from them. They live with me. They know it all. Sometimes I naively think my eating issues are my secret. But how dumb is that? I wear them, fully visible, for everyone to see. This is no secret sin. No closet obsession. It is not something I can cover up with a little make up or disguise with well chosen outfits following Glamour's Dos and Don'ts. Dressing ten pounds thinner just isn't going to cut it.

I know what I see in the mirror is different than what everyone else sees. I can see the me I used to be, the me I want to be, but somehow not the real me. The real me is what I am confronted with when I see a candid picture - cringe. I don't believe the camera adds 10 pounds. I think I just never see myself from certain angles (and never want to!) This is the same principle I see in dressing room mirrors. They don't make me look fat. Why would they want to do that? They'd never sell a thing! No, it's just the real me staring back and I don't like it one bit.

So, I'll tell you what I do like. I like that by now I have lost all the water weight I have been hoarding like a camel - 9.7 pounds. Don't be impressed, it was that time of the month when I started this thing. That means my body was in sponge-mode, a water-retaining frenzy. Now the real weight loss can begin.

Lets just hope I'm not tested with the trash fiasco again anytime soon... Good thing I got a new stainless steel can today. Take that, Jack!

Does this look like the face of a demon dog?

This is Hard

2010-01-03T19:05:00.000-08:00

Not eating when I want to is hard.

Not finishing what is on my plate when I'm greedy for more, yet know I'm satisfied, is hard.

Working out with the extra-weight-equivalent of my 16 year old daughter hanging off of my frame is hard.

But the hardest part of all (besides admitting that last point) is the realization that I let myself get this way. My greed for food over-rode all common sense and I just kept going and going and going.

I did this to myself.

Again.

Yes, I've been here before. Well, not quite here. I'm bigger now than last time. Isn't that how it works?

I know how hard it was last time when I lost 60+ pounds and yet I still willfully ate my way back. Plus some - a lot of some. So much some that I began to cry on the elliptical today because it was so hard. If it wasn't for Miley Cyrus and her Party in the USA I don't think I would have made it to my 20 minute goal. (Okay, NOT a Miley fan but the song is infectious and in a pinch you can listen to it 3 times in a row to finish a trainwreck of a workout.)

So this is where I'm at: Mad at myself for being here again - with twice the work to do. Frustrated at my greedy heart that looks for love, satisfaction, and comfort in the reflection of an empty plate. Overwhelmed by how far I have to go - even broken down into 35 pound increments.

Yet I know I am doing the right thing. For, as my 13 year old son said today when refering to going back to middle school tomorrow, "If you don't start, you can never finish."

Amen to that.

I Got Tagged

2010-01-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

Unlike this guy - I'll give you a straight answer!

My friend Connie at Fat to Fit Mommy tagged me in a note today about Happiness. So here goes with my top ten things that make me happy in no particular order:

Food - therein lies my problem!
My bff and many other friends most of whom like to eat with me too.
Reading and writing - these are my first love ever since I was little.
God and my church family who keep me focused on Jesus, humble, and aspiring to be better.
Hubs and my kiddos with whom the laughter and joy never end and they put up with my (mostly loud) zany antics.
Music, singing, and dancing because not a day goes by that I don't sing - literally.
My family who's loved me unconditionally through the years and that hasn't always been easy I'm sure!
Vacations and girl-cations - then coming home!
The freedom to be silly everyday at work being a preschool teacher.
Living in this beautiful, free country that my husband served for 20 years.

Did I mention food? Oh yeah, I guess I did... And don't forget this wonderful blogging community of friends that give me so much support - mwah, mwah!

Well, let me add one more thing: losing almost two pounds and getting my butt kicked two days in a row on the Wii Fit Plus. Go me!

Its On

2010-01-01T18:44:00.000-08:00

Me and my hubby on Christmas

So here's the plan:

Eat only when physically hungry, This means a stomach growl. Not head hunger that says "I want to eat now!" but true empty-stomach's-release-of-digestive-juices-that-results-in-a-growl hunger.
Pray when I want to eat for any other reason.
Stop when hunger is satisfied. Not full. Not stuffed. Not I-need-to-undo-my-pants. Just quietly knowing I have eaten enough and remembering that my stomach should be the size of my closed fist. (This is the hardest part for my greedy heart that wants more and more and more!)
Eat slowly and drink during the meal so I can recognize fullness.
Get exercise everyday even if it is only walking the dog for 15 minutes.

Here are the things I won't be doing:

Eating "diet" foods.
Counting my calories (except calories burned during exercise because that motivates me.)
Taking any kind of diet pill, drink, or aid. I may do a "meal bar" in a pinch if I am hungry and on the run.
Exercising like a fiend so I can eat more.
Having a cheat day. There is no need for cheating when I can eat whatever I want. I just need to be hungry and stop when I'm full.

So, how did I do today? Not bad. I had to wait until dinner to be truly hungry because I have been feeding my face over the holidays. I ate a salad-size plate full of dinner which may have been a little too much. The victory is I slowed down substantially but I know in my heart I was feeling greedy after waiting so long to eat. Tomorrow I shouldn't have to wait so long and it should be easier. Famous last words...

As you can see from my Daily Mile Widget I exercised on the Wii Fit Plus for 25 minutes and burned 143 calories. My victory here was my Wii Fit age was only 28! Whoo hoo! But now I am aching so badly I feel 82. Oh well. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Bring it on.

Under Construction

2009-12-27T14:54:00.000-08:00

This blog is under construction while I mentally prepare for January 1st.

I know, I know. It is so cliche to be starting a diet on the 1st but I figure with the help and further accountability I have by blogging, I just might get it done this time.

Here is my plan:

I am not restricting what I eat but how much I eat and when I eat - following the principles in the Weigh Down Diet. Of course I need to be making good choices with what to eat but I don't want to feel deprived of certain foods because then I get really cranky and NO one wants to see that... Furthermore, my goal is to get some sort of exercise daily even if it is only 15 minutes walking the dog. That will be more than I am getting now!

So, the countdown has begun. Five more days. I better start to pray now...